I was about to say, I can't believe it was October when I last wrote on here......but then again I can.
November and December were very busy. I tend not to think about Christmas until after Jen's birthday - since I tend to have to think what party needs there are.
My short course was at ICC was a taster for me.....it has left me thinking what is next and when?

Post Christmas is often a time of reflection and for me that is no different. It is now 4 years in a ministry role and if I am honest - I feel like a professional juggler half the time. The term "Full throttle" would pretty much how I would describe how we as a family feel things are.

Further study - whilst exciting makes me wonder how on earth?

But the thought of it does make me ask "What am I passionate about" "What are the desires of my heart?

This next year is a year of change for my team - so where does God want to move? What passions have taken a back step in the last few years - is this the time to move on up?

Is there something new?

Am I seeking out God's heart? Are things just tumbling over nicely or am I reaching out on my tip toes for more of God?
In many ways I don't fit nice and neatly into a little box. Perhaps I am more like a Jack in a box that cannot be contained in a box.

Just like the little girl on this picture, I want to be reaching out for the fruit. God has blessings for us and I want to reach for more of him.

Seeking the cities foundations

If you know me, you know I have a love for Stirling. It was the town (now city) of my birth. There is a certain amount of heritage that I associate with the city. It is also a beautiful part of the world.
It has a mix of urban and rural and is not as big as more cosmopolitan cities like Edinburgh or Glasgow.
I know more about Stirling, therefore I it has a deeper connection in my heart.
I am currently beginning a short evening class on Seeking a city with foundations - an exploration into Urban theology at International Christian College.
What is your vision for your city, town, village or hamlet?
Is it good health, good facilities and amenities or is your vision more about ethics, its people and their spiritual and emotional health?

Another month rushes past

It is about a month since I last wrote here and it has been a roller coaster month. At the end of September we went to the Scottish staff conference, which gave a really good opportunity to see what is going on in the nation.
After that there was a spell of family sickness. One of my friends for 20 years + finally tied the knot to a very nice lady. So I got to see the family togged up in kilts...(with the exception of me)
While at the wedding in Aberdeen the hotel fire alarm was set off at midnight, so I had to wake the kids and check that it was a false alarm ( which it was) However the alarm stayed on for an hour.
Now it is half term and I have 2 kids to appease.
My eldest I think is missing school.....we have sums before breakfast!! The joy and eagerness of learning! I had started a news letter but that has been shelved until the "normal routine commences. Ha what is normal!

Stuff the washing.....let's take time out

Last night I did my regular street pastors rota night. So around 9pm I set off to start the shift and got in around 4.15 am. This morning there were 101 things to do but apart from my needing a lie in, it also happened to be our anniversary and hubby's birthday.

I did get a bit of a lie in (after the kids woke at 7....and we opened the presents.)

The last week was 2 rolled into 1 long week. So today it was stuff the house, the washing and anything else.......it was family time.

I am such a lucky woman....God gave me a superb man to love.

So today was family lunch, soft play ( always a winner) and films.
Housework can wait, work can wait ....family is first today.....Knowing I am truly blessed!!!!

kids - don't you just love them!

I don't know about you but I really enjoy lying down on the floor (normally on the bean bag) at bedtime to read a story..... If I am really lucky, I get to make one up. I tend to have one that is a cross between "mr ben and C S Lewis " where my kids get to go on adventures without me knowing. We have a whole load of people that go with them,
Other nights I read from a book....
The problem is I was recently told to read without my glasses (its my age apparently!) Now that sounds fine, infact liberating....but for my son at 2....mum without glasses is just not right.
If I don't have my specs on he will find them and give them to me.

The other night I was reading a bed time story, took off my glasses and quick as a flash, Douglas grabbed them (to give them back) and....SNAP!
Yes that is right, broken beyond repair. (oh yes and my insurance has expired 3 weeks ago)

Another evening and the beanbag I sit on for stories got covered in milk.... I dutifully wash them only for my darling son to find a bean and......hey presto sticks it up his nose!
(I won't tell you how we got it out)

All in the space of a week - but you know what my kids are just so precious. That same little rascal is just such a bundle of joy.

Please tell me this kind of thing is not only in my family!

Long week

This has been one of those long weeks. It started on Monday. Most of the summer I have had a funding bid to do but it is really hard to crunch numbers when your kids are on holiday and squabbling. Monday ended with me having to go to a community group meeting at night. I am a director of the organisation so I wanted to be kept up to date with progess.
Tuesday was Knockhill.....I chance for me to see to see my sister fulfil a dream.....followed by a very LOONGG church meeting where I got locked in the car park and had to exit via the pavement or pay a call out fee.....can't afford a call out fee, so pavement it was.

Wednesday and Thursday hubby was out late and I had kids challenging bed time....someone from worship band phoned to see if Phil would do the evening service....as well as the 2 morning ones on Sunday......I think I know the answer to that!
Thursday I had Douglas getting woken and scared so bed was 2am....

Friday exhausted and sleep deprived. ..When the kids were in bed a nice glass of wine and watching slumdog millionaire took my mind off my injured arm

What a week!

Change, change, change

I can hardly believe it is nearly 4 years since Ywam Stirling was pioneered. This June saw our first founding member leave. Within 6 months another is about to leave....so what next?

I feel God has placed me in YWAM for a reason. I feel that my community work knowledge can be of use to them in this next season of their life.

At times though I feel way under skilled and isolated. I think this next year is a birth of new developments.... I mixture of me developing my skill, and learning.

This would mean both delivering and writing training for others. Whilst investing in training for me. Please pray that I would have wisdom in this next few weeks.

I am also currently having another bash at getting funding for helping in this. Please pray for God's direction and wisdom.

summer hols ending

Well 7 weeks of holidays seemed liked a long time a few weeks ago.

We have seen Lazytown show
had tennis and swim lessons
gone to CLAN and stayed in a caravan
gone to the beach
had BBQ's (at least 3)
been out on the bikes
played in parks
gone swimming
done the holiday club
to name but a few things....

Mum at least will be able to do a bit more work once the school is back and we settle into routine again. We have had a fun holiday though and the kids are precious and this time is precious.

Holidays are coming....

We are now in the 3rd week of the summer holidays and so far we have filled the weeks with days out , swimming and last week swim lessons for Jen...
We are however in our countdown to the caravan next week and CLAN Gathering. I am really looking forward to some family time. Phil has had a few heavy weeks lifting new kit around and our weekends have been full for about 2 months. So the Wards will hit the wall soon if we don't get a break.
Clan is busy but a change of scene, so it will do for now.
When we come back we are straight back into it with Holiday club. I have a fair bit of prep to do before then.....

Let's just not think of that .... family time first.

Nearing the end of term

Today at our team meeting we "said goodbye" to one of our team members, Donna. Donna is leaving YWAM to go back to Uni. She is one of the "founding team members" so its a bit strange. Although she is not going far, it will be a change in dynamic.

My daughter on the other hand is nearing the end of Primary 1. The first year of school has had its ups and downs but she has a real hunger to learn.

The last two weeks have been busy, Jen has invited her best friend to some events. We have really enjoyed just spending time with them and having an opportunity to share Jesus with her friend and his family. (Whilst having lots of fun too.)

Other things happening...

I am trying to design a website for YWAM Stirling. This means I am trying to learn new skills.
I am enjoying learning something new.
I am also really enjoying the fact that I have a mix of stuff on at the minute. Being able to do Street pastors and Healing rooms is just great. I have more contact with people and (at the moment) a little less admin.

Being obedient

Being obedient

The LORD will continually guide you
and satisfy you even in sun-baked places.
He will strengthen your bones.
You will become like a watered garden
and like a spring whose water does not stop flowing.

GOD'S WORD^® is a copyrighted work of God's Word to the Nations. Quotations are used by permission.

As some of you know, I have just spent 3 weeks in Germany. A lot of Germany, infact all of it was about being obedient. I first heard about the conference last year. Straight away the thought of going to it was burning within me.
I knew I had to go. That feeling remained, as I prayed about it. I shared my thoughts with my husband who also prayed and confirmed it. As a mum with young children however, it was a BIG ask from God.... Three weeks is a long time for wee ones.
As I shared with people what I intended to do, I got a mixed response. Come to think of it, I had mixed emotions - right up to the night before I left, I was having "frank" conversations with God about why He was asking me to go without the family... but I had to be obedient.

In terms of other missionaries, I have not had to uproot my family or gone to an unchurched tribal village where I have had to learn a new language, but the principle of being obedient is the same whether we are at home, overseas, in missions or in the office.

As one of our speakers said at the conference

"even if you are not successful, you must be obedient."

For me part of me going away was simply about being obedient.

People have been asking me lots of questions.
Was it worth it "Yes" What did I learn .....well lots. I could list stuff in the schedule but I have done that. Someone said before I left that they felt I would deepen my intimacy with God.
I think that is what happened as I find it very hard to explain, how I benefited.

I guess it built my confidence, re-enforced I am in the right place and deepened my understanding on the vision and anointing of YWAM.
I have had a passion to use my community work skills in mission. In order to do that effectively, that means extracting information from different spheres of society and understanding different worldviews. I believe I am in a slightly deeper in my understanding of that.

By valuing my relationship with God we and being obedient to what He asks of me, I do indeed feel that I have been strengthened and well watered.

Remembering the past and our heritage

I am currently in my 3rd week of a YWAM DNA Infusion conference in Herrnhut Germany. I have had teaching from people like Loren and Darlene Cunningham, David Hamilton and tomorrow Lynn Green. All key in the leadership of YWAM International.
I have had so much teaching in the past 3 weeks, I hardly know where to start.
Herrnhut is a historical place. It is the place where in 1732 the first Protestant missionary Leonhard Doeber, left for Saint Thomas.

When people shouted at the boat and asked why are you doing this?

Leonhard Doeber responded
"For the Lamb who was slain is worthy to receive the reward of His suffering."

What a fantastic response...

Why do we tell of God's love....because Jesus is worthy.

Over the next few weeks I may comment on teaching but I need time to process this more.

It would be wrong of us to step into an area of ministry that is wrong for us.
What is the call AND anointing that God has on your life?

Planes, trains and automobiles

Well,
On Sunday, I was laden and all set for my German adventure. After 2 planes ,2 trains and 2 cars i FINALLY got here only to find myself in a very cold tent!!! Two days in however and things are better , we have a heater for the tent.

The questions thus far are

Who is JESUS to you? What a question..... something to mull over

Money Management Ministry Update

This is just a wee quick thank you for those of you of you who were praying for the Money Secret course in Arbroath. I have just realised that I have not updated you. We had 7 people on the course. The feedback we had was very positive. In conjunction with the course Marisa offered one to one time on Budget planning, since we are Stewardship Budget Coaches. A couple of participants took that up and found that benefitial.
Some people had been interested in the course but due to the evening time and having no childcare they were unable to attend.
The good aspect of this course is that it is very flexible, so it would possible to shorten and offer it again during school time. (Possibility for the future??)

It would seem that participants felt more skilled and informed by the end of the course and for some it may have been enough and for others it was a step along the way.

I really enjoyed working with the group as well...I would reccommend the resources as well, they are easy to work with. Money is not an easy topic of discussion but this makes it far easier.

Germany 6 days and counting

I leave for Germany on Sunday...I am both excited and nervous about it all.
It has been some time since I have travelled overseas alone and its a bit of a challenge for me. In my 10 years of marriage, I have not been away from my lovely hubby for more than 10 days in one go....so 3 weeks seems an eternity.....as for the kids Jen can grasp mummy is away for a bit but still finds 3 weeks a hard concept, while Douglas, bless him is to young to comprehend anything.
One the other hand, I am going to have spectacular teaching, as Loren Cunningham and a lot of YWAM big names will be there.....And God I am sure will do stuff.
My hubby is more than capable at looking after the kids.

People have been asking what will I be doing
DNA Infusion will include

- The Belief Tree
- YWAM History and Foundational Values
- YWAM – Big Picture and Future Growth
- YWAM’s Apostolic Call and The Five-Fold Gifts
- Value-Driven Movements Versus Structure-Driven Organizations
- Character & Conduct of a Leader
- Leadership Giftings: How Visionaries and Implementers Work Together
- Creating with God Versus Fatalism
- 4K and Call2all
- Hospitality
- Grace Ticket
- Listen and Learn from our Founders and other Leaders of our Mission
- Plenary Sessions
- Small groups and Discussion groups
- Worship and Intercession
- Workshops and Networking times
- Fun and Fellowship
- Question and Answer
- Getting to know each other

I will try to update this blog or my Living It blog if I can while I am away.

A challenging statement

Approaches in mission

I have recently been in a bit of a dialogue with people that follow Sunday papers with regard mission. The question was posed "Why are we rubbish at it?" I have made some comments about being in it for the long haul and sometimes its our mindset to mission that is a barrier.

Our mission is to share God's love and ultimately see people experience and have a life changing encounter with God.

There were those in the discussion that seemed to favour direct evangelism, after all there should be a question of urgency in our Gospel message.

I see the value in any approach. I have been aware however that timing is vital. We do have to ask God what to do. There have been times where a team has asked to come and when we prayed about it we felt it was a "No". I have also seen teams sweep in and out of a village or town claiming x number of conversions, with little or no thought about follow up and discipleship....and sadly few people have managed to link in with a local church and stick with it.
Of course God can use that again later.

And of course I have also seen that kind of thing done well....In fact I am testimony to that...22 + years on.

This dialogue has prompted me to ponder my church mission statement

My church developed a mission statement a few years ago:
"to be a people radically devoted to Christ, unconditionally committed to each other and relentlessly dedicated to reaching those outside God's family with the Gospel of Christ".


This has been challenging me lately as this is a BIG statement. It sounds good and is even a high expectation. The statement is fully loaded however.

If I break it down we have

1. A people radically devoted to Christ.

2. Unconditionally committed to each other.

3. Relentlessly dedicated to reaching those outside God's family with the Gospel of Christ.

1. A people radically devoted to Christ
If we look at the first section, in particular "radically devoted".

What does that mean exactly?

Radically according to Dictionary.com is
"2. in a complete or basic manner; thoroughly; fundamentally.

and devoted is

zealous or ardent in attachment, loyalty, or affection: a devoted friend.

Without delving too deep into this statement we come into words like fundamental, zealous and ardent, all of which are very strong deep rooted words.

To fulfill this aspect of the statement alone would require commitment to our the Word and our own journey and discipleship.

I would also point out that these words are not always welcomed in our society today as we have a tendency to lean towards "each to their own" and a melting pot of beliefs and religious tolerance. People don't like fundamental anything.

2. Unconditionally committed to each other.
This again is a tall ask. Of course I am committed to my church. Having been there since my commitment 22 years (give or take time away, although it has always been my home church)

I have seen it grow and develop (there have also been times of pain, where I could easily have walked away) I would like to think I could say YES LORD emphatically to that part of the statement.... but the truth is that in a church that size there are people that I don't or vaguely know. So I can't say Yes entirely. I know that I could empathise with someone and pray for them.... so in that way I could commit to them.

There is a part of me though that knows that as humans we naturally have deep and shallow relationships, therefore I am limited in what I can commit to....and who I would share with. Some only get the superficial layer, few get the depth. That is natural. However, in principle I am committed to people and even those I don't know well. Likewise many don't know me that well. I can pray for in their time of need. BUT it is still HUGE.

3. Relentlessly dedicated to reaching those outside God's family with the Gospel of Christ.

It is the relentless bit of this that challenges me here...

Dictionary.com says "that does not relent; unyieldingly severe, strict, or harsh; unrelenting."

I have a passion for my city, I would like to see it and God's people thrive, so yes I can say that this statement I can relate with. There are limits to what I can do and if I am unyielding all the time, I will burn out, no question. This is where the cogs of the church family and organisation comes into play.

As an organic organisation we need to be united and committed to our vision. Mission for me is local, God has given me a heart for my city - it is no more or less important to Oversees mission.
Having said that however being a missionary in my home city has its pros and cons.....I am pushed back to point 2. Unconditionally committed to each other.

It's a BIG statement whether you break it up or not.....a work in progress. Organic, evolving and an unfinished task

Published Poetry

Another aspect of me is that I enjoy poetry. I don't get quite as much time as I used to for writing but here are a few anthologies in which I have been published.

Inspired Reflections 2007

A New Horizon 1998

China Soldiers 1998

Harbour of Thoughts 1998

Seeds of Faith 1997

The Heavenly Light 1997

Voices in Harmony 1997

Chosen Grace 1996

We Are His Hands 1996

Hands in Harmony 1996

The Christian Poetry Collection 1996

Faith & Friendship 1996

Christian Meditations 1996

Christian Poets from Scotland 1995

The Gift of Love 1995

The AP Book of Christmas Poems 1995

Celebrations 1994

There are a few missing, I will add them when I remember. Most are under my maiden name of Patricia Rosie.

Ministry Update

THE MONEY SECRET
Last night was the last night of our 6 week course in Arbroath. The Money Secret is a book about how to budget and take control of your finances. Produced by Care for the Family. Alongside the book, which is written in a story form (Teaching key principles through a story) there is a workbook and adult education course - making it very user friendly.
The course in Arbroath seems to have gone well with 7 participants and some positive feedback.

You don't need to be in trouble to do the course. Some people just do it to know how to help others, or how to develop a budget that they can stick to.

Alongside the course we offered Budget coaching since we are trained Stewardship Budget Coaches. Some participants took the opportunity for a one to one financial "health check".

Street Pastors
Last Friday saw the launch of Street Pastors in Stirling. The launch was in Sporters Bar in Stirling, then 15 volunteers were on the street to help. Normally it will only be a team of 3 or 4 on each night but we wanted people to be aware of the new initiative so 15 were out at once.
Some great opportunities and chats were encountered. A great way to sho God's love practically.

Street Pastors hit Stirling

Well last night was the official launch of street pastors in Stirling. We started in Sporters bar with a wee gathering to launch the initiative.
We had 15 street pastors on the streets of Stirling, for the first night just to give us a presence that would help raise awareness.
We also had a some really good connections and conversation.....

The night was dry (thankfully) But it was very cold. I was thankful for the lovely warm jacket even if I feel a bit like the Mitchelin Man.
I finally got home at 4.30 a.m. I quite often find that God can give me enough energy to do what I need to do... and last night was no exception.
It was fantastic. I am on again next Friday night, this time it will only be one team though.
It was fantastic. I had a great time.

For next week - Pray that Douglas sleeps in the day so I can rest before I go out again.

Biblical Wordview.

Hi
One of our YWAM Stirling statements is that we want to engage with individuals and communities with a biblical world view. I am currently trying to unpack that a little. What does it mean to have a biblical worldview?
I have started another blog that is more professionally focussed. This is more personal ministry and jottings. The other blog is honestlylivingit. (another blogspot blog)
People who know me, know that I am not one to use theology terminology, so its focusses in community and church - seeing it from where I am at - now. So I don't claim to have arrived. (I am not sure I ever will!)
I have looked at Mark d Roberts blog on the matter and he explains things in a way I understand...
http://www.markdroberts.com/htmfiles/resources/worldview.htm

Two things that Mark has written stick out at the moment

"1. There is one transcendent, sovereign, all-powerful God who created all things.

2. Matter matters, because God created heaven and earth and saw that all things he created are very good."

What God created was good. Sin has got in the way.

God created us to be relational- with Him and others. The earth He created was good and is His.

Yes it is important to be in a Christian community to be built up, equipped and discipled but it is equally important that we show and share God's love practically to those who don't know God.

That should start where you are - local. If God calls you globally, then go.

My passion and vision is my city - at least at the moment. I want to see God move in Stirling, I want to see church partnerships and people earnestly seeking God....and finding Him.

When is a mum ever a Part - timer

Man, what a busy week. Monday is mayhem at the moment and Tuesdays are busy....and by Wednesday morning, I want to know "Is it Friday yet?" (Mind you Friday does not mean that I have time off.)
When I first rejoined YWAM I thought that I would make things easy and say that I am part time in mission, rather than a full time ministry. The truth is however when is a Christian ever part time in what we do?
At the time of writing, it is only a few weeks until I am off to Germany. This week I was in Stirling doing Street pastors, Arbroath on Tuesday with money management and Thursday in Aberdeen with a staff day. That was my "work" or ministry.
I also work with the Scottish Society for Autism, for what I see as a "tentmaking" ministry to support my YWAM work and this week I have done that each day not doing YWAM or ministry stuff.
I must admit, I am tired, very tired.
The dilemma that I find myself in however is this:
If I turn down shifts (and I did turn down some anyway) would I be saying "No" to God's way of providing the money I need for Germany?

I believe wholeheartedly that God wants me to go and do the DNA Infusion conference. So if I turn down the shifts in the next few weeks, what happens if the money I need to go does not come through.
Would I be a bit like the guy in the joke that asks God when he reaches heaven why did you not help me God in the flood. And God answers I sent a boat and a helicopter and you said no to them. (Paraphrased version)
So yes it is true to say I am working far more than I would like to at the moment....but even when I am off....I am a mum and a wife - so when is the day off exactly?

Even if it is my day off if an opportunity arises to share what God has done or is doing I am not necessarily going to say, come back to me next Thursday. (Although sometimes those boundaries are easier set.)

At the moment I hope that I won't burn out so much that I am too shattered to participate and gain from what God has for me in Germany.
As a mum though, I am still dreading being away for 3 weeks.

Germany - is real

This is just a quick wee scribe to say that the tickets for Germany have been booked. There is no going back now. For those of you who think I am so independent, you should of seen me pacing the floor as Phil checked the terms and conditions. I then had to summon all I had in me to click that submit button.

No this is not easy but it is obedience.

What is my value base?

I have been challenged recently about my value base and passion.
I am aware (oh too aware at times) that having worked hard to retrain as a community worker, thinking that I would be able to better provide for my family, God asked me to return to mission. I therefore have never really earned the professional salary (and obviously I have added a student loan, to my name.)

So how does that balance out - simply it doesn't.....At least not if you think in worldly terms.

I have always liked the town ( now a city) of my birth. This site is the daughter of the Rock and that for me means two things. Stirling is known as the city of the Rock, because of where the castle sits. So if you are born in Stirling, you are a Son or daughter of the Rock. I however, am twice a daughter of the Rock - for I am a daughter of Stirling and a daughter of my Heavenly Father.

How blessed am I?

As I said I have always liked Stirling, but I believe it is more than that I have a love for my city.
I have this joke with people that I now live in exile since I live in the Hillfoots now. I yearn to be back in Stirling. Don't get me wrong, I like aspects of the Hillfoots. I like having a fishmonger and a good veg shop in the village and I like the fact we live 2 mins from the school, not forgetting the beautiful hills that are out my window....But my passion is for the City of the Rock, Stirling... I long to see Stirling having a hope, vibrance and knowledge of the Son of the Rock - Jesus.

To have your security in God, knowing that you are precious and loved.

I have this thing with Jen, I say "What are you?" and she knows that I am expecting the answer "Precious" So many of us don't have self worth - and if we struggle with that how then can we grasp how valuable and precious we are to God?

Where am I going with this - we all form our values from something and we all have our passion.

One of my passions is Stirling. So what about my values?
Some within the community work field question how you can adhere to the professional value of self - determination yet clearly work from a faith base. It's simple, God gave us freewill. I can value the individual and respect their opinion, even if I don't agree with it. If I share my faith, a person still has the ability to self determine and agree or disagree.

I value the person. Everyone has skills and abilities. I believe some can be learned but some are God given. As a community worker, I want to help people grow in confidence and reach their full potential. I want that for everyone, including myself. That forms part of my own personal journey.

Being in mission at the moment might not give me a secure income, but I can focus on people. I am also not developing things quickly, reacting to current events. Rather we can plan and develop quality programmes in God's timing.

kids

I am so blessed. I have two wonderful children. Jen at 5 is a really smart kid. She had to memorize a poem for Burns day at school and she had the 3 verse poem in her head by the 3rd day of practice. She has an excellent memory and a very logical brain.

Douglas is coming on leaps and bounds too. He is currently saying GOG for dog. We also play a wee game where we pretend to lose him - I say where is Douglas and he says "Here he is" (You never know that may come in handy at some point.)

We were recently at one of Jen's friends' house for tea and I realised that Jen was not starting her dinner. Matthew (her friend) was waiting for her to start.... I suddenly realised that Jen was waiting for grace.
I said to Jen it would be OK to start and Matthew's mum asked me to explain. I explained that we normally say grace and that was why Jen had not started.
I was then asked to say grace by Matthew's mum.
I duly said grace and then at the end Douglas piped up Amen at the end (like he normally does)
This was surely a case where I realised that the kids can teach the grown ups a thing or two!!

Germany.....and stuff

You know it is just as well that my God knows me so well. As you may be aware, God highlighted a YWAM DNA Conference to me last May and it is to be held in Germany this April/May. He gave me lots of time.....because I needed lots of time.

I love social dynamics but I have also so much to learn. I know God wants me to go and I am excited about what I may learn and what I know God will teach me...

The prospect of leaving the family is a wrench. Especially Douglas as he will have no comprehension about where mum has gone or when she will be back.

In some ways I can't wait, I am hungry to go and soak up all I can....being a busy mum I don't get many opportunities to have time to focus fully on God like that. I will have less things / people demanding my time (not that I grudge that) and therefore NO Excuses.

In other ways I can't get my head round it. I have come to realise how much of my identity is being a wife and mother.
Being a wife and mother in a ministry is a fine balance at times.

I am glad God only gives me one part of the jigsaw at a time, as otherwise I think I would be a gibbering idiot half the time.